Flowers in spite of my worst intentions

The flowers around the yard are incredibly beautiful right now. Spring has indeed sprung in abundance.

Which begs the question: Are the flowers doing well because of me or in spite of me?

Definitely the latter.

If they're doing well it's because of my benign -- make that abject -- neglect.

They're better off that I don't even try, quite frankly. If I make an honest attempt to cultivate them and help them along they'll most assuredly perish.

I'm just not much for yard work. I'll mow the lawn when it needs it. I'll weed whack on occasion.

I don't de-thatch. I don't fertilize. I don't put down weed killer.

I am a disinterested participant in yard work. It is a chore, something that has to get done like taking out the garbage and recyclables each Monday morning.

My disinterest is so abject that I've been known to mow over the very flower beds that are now springing with so much life and color. I did it once ... by accident ... honest.

My lawn looks just fine to the people who can see it: me and my wife, since the yard is pretty much shielded from the road we live on. I don't need it to look like the outfield of Fenway Park.

I thought in retirement, though, that I might get into yard work.

I went into my first summer of retirement by planting a vegetable garden of tomatoes, peppers, and herbs. It was okay. I went into my second summer of retirement with another vegetable garden, using my experience from the previous summer to improve the yield. It was less than okay.

I'm about to go into my third summer of retirement and I'm not going to bother with the vegetable garden.

I did an analysis and found that the return on investment -- the ROI -- wasn't any good.

I was investing way too much effort into the garden and getting diddly in return -- frequent watering, weeding and mulching for a couple of tomatoes and peppers.

And frankly, it's boring.

I recently wrote an Examiner.com post about a recent survey of Baby Boomer women who say that they'll carry their gardening interests well into retirement.

More power to them, I say. Me? I can't be bothered.