Loaded for the dump

I'm not a dump person.

That was obvious the other day when I went to get my bulky waste coupon from the town that would allow me to bring some of our junk to the dump.

As I filled out the paperwork, the clerk in the public works office asked for the license plate of the vehicle I'd be using to haul my load of bulk waste. I looked outside and read the license plate off my Hyundai sedan.

She also looked outside and said, "That little car?"

I stammered: "It has a big trunk."

When you've spent much of your adult life in the suburbs, the town dump is a whole new experience. I'm thinking of the city mouse/country mouse story ... more precisely suburban mouse/country mouse.

In the suburbs, as a suburban mouse, you generally don't have to get up close and personal with your trash. You put it at the curb and it disappears. If you're cleaning out a basement or a garage, the same rules apply: Get it to the curb and it becomes someone else's problem. It's why we pay the taxes that we do.

Granted, as a country mouse I get my household trash and recyclables to the end of the driveway each Monday and it gets taken away.

But the garage and basement clean-outs are another matter. We have in my community a big trash pick-up each spring. If you can get that old couch to the end of the driveway it'll get picked up.

But if you can't wait for the annual big trash day, then you've got to go to the dump ... or landfill ... or recycling center ... or whatever name it goes by.

My impression from the rules posted on my town's public works website was that I needed a resident sticker to get into the dump, a coupon for some of the big trash items, and a special coupon for certain specialty items, such as the broken dehumidifier because it contained freon. The resident sticker is free. The coupon is $10. The special coupon is $10. So much for taxes.

I didn't think I'd need a dump truck to impress the public works clerk.

But I went home and loaded up a variety of busted fans, a rusted and broken grill, a hopelessly bent snow shovel (we do indeed have severe winters in New Hampshire on occasion), said dehumidifier, and an assortment of other cast-offs.

Indeed the trunk was spacious enough for the fans, dehumidifier and other stuff. So was the back seat, which I had to cover with a tarp to protect it from the rusted and broken grill that I managed to get squeeze in along with the broken snow shovel and other items.

My Hyundai was a little out of place in the line-up of vehicles depositing trash at the designated spots for metal, electronics, wood, paper, etc., etc. There were an assortment of vans and SUVs and, of course, pick-ups.

I managed. Certainly a pick-up would have been the easier solution. But I'm not ready to be a country mouse just yet.